Freedom!!

A human is born free and is chained  everywhere he/she goes. We all live with different culture, customs and tradition and we adopt our way of life accordingly. Well I too come from patriarchal society where there is variation in lifestyle and gender roles in every families but majority of the families does not practice equality yet and follow same old patriarchal concept where a man get to decide what's best for rest of his family! I would like to express some scenario I got to see about my childhood friend "Maya". She was young beautiful and vibrant girl with positive energy and most beautiful smile I have ever seen with a good heart too! She was from middle class family after high school education she was enrolled for graduate studies. Simultaneously, she got a job in a reputed office which could be taken as her good fortune as getting a job right after high school was fortunate in that part of world. She was happy go lucky type of person and busy with her work and studies too. She was unknown what was planned for her destiny. One day as regular routine she came home after work but at home she had to entertain few guests too whom she had never met before. Later, she got to know that one of the guy named " Hari" liked her since long time and came to ask for her for marriage (this is one of the setting how arrange marriage takes place in eastern culture). Well she had not seen it coming and was astonished and confused regarding entire matter and denied that proposal saying she didn't want to get married instead wants to study and work. But the guy followed her and expressed that he would not be obstacle in her desires and would let her achieve her goal. The guy and his family members convinced Maya and her family that there would be no obstruction in her wishes instead they are not conservative and would support her. Maya's family liked the guy  and their family and persuaded Maya. She was in her early twenties and was obedient daughter of her parents and could not deny or become fixed towards her opinion and as every other decisions she  accepted this one too! She was ready to embrace entire new world and had mixed feelings inside her.

She had good few months together in her new family. Later on she was not encouraged to visit her birth parents which was just 20 miles far from her in law's home. Maya's husband used to make some other diversional plan or expressed need of Maya's presence at his home so her plan to visit her birth parents was less frequent. In between Maya's husband expressed his desire to plan baby even though Maya was not prepared for this but Hari insisted on that and subsequently she got pregnant and her graduate studies in her college was affected which means involuntarily she had to give up her college. Life went on she never got the same promise Hari and his family had done before marriage. She was restricted from visiting her friends, buying and wearing pants (which she really loved), several rules were imposed upon her. As, she was working women her husband made strict rule of arrival at home which was fixed as few minutes after her offices closes she has to reach her home. She never had time to have a cup of coffee with colleagues at work. She was in rush and fear. Maya's husband and family requested her not to work and said that they heard rumors that working women in big organisation don't have good character and so in order to maintain their prestige she had to give up her job. As she already had left her college she didn't want to quit her job (only place where she was herself no one to keenly look up after her with on going rules of does and don'ts) so she said she would not hang out with any colleagues and would return to home as soon as she leaves office.

This all went on she was already mother of 3 years kid who had many rules to follow. She had to look after her house, son and office work too! Even though she had few good friends at her office she could never make time for coffee, market or attend any office functions. She used to be happy go lucky before marriage and people were amazed with her beautiful smile but slowly few years after her marriage she seem to have upset face with forced smile on that and red swollen eyes as if she had flown rivers through her eyes. Now she had been a girl with chains everywhere, eventually Hari was able to make her resigne. Unwillingly, she quit her job too! Still everything wasn't right he used to doubt her with every male she spoke to or met anywhere at any shops/market/temples and quarrel at night with no any logical reasons. She was a girl with lots of desires and admirations and now slowly she has been converted to asset of Hari's home who has to do whatever their family wants, meet people they want make her meet and do chores they make her do. Eventually, she lost her freedom from every aspect. She was no longer human being with right but only with duties to be performed. Once she had been to her maternal home with her son, the next day she found Hari was around there just to make sure she was not visiting her old friends. Maya was bored with the direction of her life, nothing went well as she as expected, her ever doubting and arguing husband and her life with less motive she had less faith on that relationship and expressed with her parents that she want to end it up and be free from the chains. But, same parents who did not think twice about their daughter  while marrying her still they are not ready to hear her concerns instead Maya has to handle the the situation as divorcing her husband will give bad name to her parents. So, they convince her to adjust according her family and resolve her problems.

Well, once she had shared her feelings with me and expressed she wanted to end her life. She is not happy at all and mentioned that she cries entire night and only good thing her life is her son. She is of my age and I wonder she could have been graduate and done post graduation and have had good job with stability in her life. Marrying at tender age without completion of her education and gaining worldly experiences and accepting every other's decision in own life and giving up every wishes for other's satisfaction has led her to complex situation where she can't get out. I wish she gather enough courage to stand up for herself and live her life on her terms as life is short we never know about tomorrow. May she be able to overcome her pathetic phase soon. Now and then I keep in touch with her to comfort her and I feel happy knowing she has not ended her life and has hope of ray of happiness to overcome that chains!

May u get success!!

Prayers for you :)

Note: This is reflection of most of women compromising  with every decisions of their birth parent, later their husband ultimately their offsprings! Women needs equality in all stage of their life from beginning to end. Let's release them from unnecessary chains and give a life to live on!